5
“Greece’s trouble’s threaten to spread to the rest of Europe. Over the weekend, fears of a total collapse caused the value of the Euro to plunge to a $1.25. At this rate, the average European won’t be able to go anywhere during their annual 15 weeks of vacation.” — Stephen Colbert
4
“Oh man, and the stock market. Another bad day. The market is so bad, BP had to lay off 15 senators.” — Jay Leno
3
The Onion: Obama To Create 17 New Jobs By Resigning And Finally Opening That Restaurant
2
“They put a cap on ATM transaction fees, though a lot of the senators didn’t want to discuss it because they’ve never used an ATM. The Senate has mobile cash machines — they’re called ‘lobbyists.’” — Jimmy Kimmel
1
“You know who out there could use a handful of painkillers? Greece. Their economy is on the verge of complete collapse. Rioting broke out last week after the government announced pay cuts and raised the retirement age. Things are so dire, they even laid off the Oracle of Delphi…she never saw it coming.” — Stephen Colbert
