10
“I heard that if we don’t raise the debt ceiling, we could lose our AAA rating. Why doesn’t the auto club mind their own business?” – David Letterman

9
“President Obama urged the American people to call Congress and demand that both parties work together on a compromise. The calls are 99 cents for the first minute, and a trillion dollars for each additional minute.” – Jimmy Kimmel

8
“The country is running out of money and everyone is fighting. It reminds me a lot of my childhood.” – Conan O’Brien

7
“On August 2, the United States government runs out of money. They may even have to stop paying Captain America.” – David Letterman

6
“‘Captain America’ made $65 million over the weekend, which is about twice what actual America made.” – Jimmy Kimmel

5
“President Obama may have to cancel his 50th birthday party because of the debt limit crisis. The Republicans won’t even let Obama raise his age.” – Conan O’Brien

4
“We are $14 trillion in debt. To understand how much money that is, imagine grocery shopping at Whole Foods every day of the month.” – Jay Leno

3
“In a new interview, President Obama said he wants a ‘debt ceiling deal’ for his 50th birthday. Then he was like, ‘But if I can’t have that – iPad.’” – Jimmy Fallon

2
“The NFL lockout is over. All the parties agreed and we have a compromise. It’s too bad the national debt isn’t as important as football.” – David Letterman

1
“House Speaker John Boehner invited new congressmen over for pizza last night. Unfortunately, the delivery guy left when they spent 10 hours fighting over a plan to pay for it.” – Jimmy Fallon

BA