5 “President Obama urged men to ‘go big’ for Valentine’s Day. In fact, Obama bought Michelle the nicest bracelet China’s money can buy.” –Jimmy Fallon

4 “Rick Santorum picked up an endorsement from the lead singer of the heavy-metal band Megadeth. Santorum is the only candidate who is both pro-life and pro-Megadeth.” –Conan O’Brien

3 Cartoon: Budget Banditos

2 ”Some election news. This weekend was the Maine caucuses. And here’s the crazy part — Adele actually won that, too.” –Jimmy Fallon

1 Cartoon: President’s Budget

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