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“Arkansas Congressman Steve Womack has proposed cutting funding for President Obama’s teleprompter. Oh man, when Obama finds out he’s going to be speechless.” - Jimmy Fallon

4

The Onion: U.S. Renews Contract With Spotted Ground Squirrels Through 2015

3

“President Obama was in San Francisco today, meeting with a group of technology executives, including Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. Their goal is to figure out how to create new jobs, to replace jobs that have been lost as a result of everyone spending all their time at work on Facebook.” - Jimmy Kimmel

2

“President Obama delivered his 2012 budget to Congress yesterday, but it probably won’t get much action, since they still haven’t yet passed a budget for 2011. But to be fair, they have been busy posting shirtless photos of themselves on Craigslist.” - Jimmy Kimmel

1