5

“Chinese President Hu Jintao will be at the White House next week. The good news is, he has no plans to foreclose. We can stay another month.” – Jay Leno

4

“Things are so bad with the dollar, Ke$ha is now spelling her name with the pound symbol.” – Stephen Colbert

3

Cartoon: Congress steps on future toes

2

“According to a group that monitors government waste, the Republicans’ reading of the Constitution cost taxpayers a $1 million. Only politicians could spend money reading.” – Jimmy Kimmel

1

The Onion: Revamped WPA To Create 50,000 New Jobs By Disassembling, Reassembling Hoover Dam