Friday Funnies! 5 Reasons why the new XBox is like Washington

Friday Funnies | June 14, 2013

With the end of the Electronic Entertainment Expo and the announcements for the next generation of video game consoles, we decided to throw together a post for the gamers in the audience: Five reasons why the new XBox One is looking at lot like Washington.

1. They’re both not so big on “freedom” lately.

While both Washington and Microsoft claim to be providing a service to their constituents, they’ve both been feeling a little… controlling as of late.

Despite Microsoft’s feeble assurances, their emphasis on digital-only game purchases and restrictive trade rules have many gamers concerned over how much control they will really have over the things they buy. Furthermore, the XBox’s onerous need to “check in” online once every 24 hours has frequent travelers and military personnel serving overseas saying “pass.”

Washington isn’t one to be outdone on control; they’ve had the IRS targeting watchdog groups, DOJ snooping on AP reporters, recently finished another round of debate on gun control, and are trying to get the healthcare industry to play by their new set of rules.

2. They’re both looking a little bloated.

Like really, have you seen the XBox One? Early-90s VCRs collecting dust in attics across America look “slim” by comparison. I hope you have a sturdy set of shelves to set this thing on. Jeez.

Washington, of course, is in an “oversized” class all it’s own. From massive deficits to massive debt, overindulgent conferences and regulatory overreach, Washington has elected to go big in a big way.

3. They’re expensive.

Nuff said. I’m not pillaging my 401k so I can play the next Gears of War, guys.

4. They keep giving us more of the same.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to be less surprised about — the fact that they announced another game in the Halo / Call of Duty / Battlefield series, or that yet another agency in Washington was wasting taxpayer money like it was going out of style (and asking for more, at the same time).

5. They’re both always watching.

The XBox’s Kinect device is always active & watching you? And you say Microsoft was one of the companies providing data to the NSA?

I’m sure that’s purely coincidental.

Happy Friday, everybody.

Tags:, , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *