Posts Tagged ‘Jay Leno’
Friday, September 3rd, 2010
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Cartoon: Double Dips
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“Congress is very upset with Roger Clemens because they feel like they were lied to. Good! Now they know how we feel.” – Jay Leno
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Cartoon: Chinese Economy
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The Onion: Pentagon Ripped Off By Shady Weapons Dealer
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“They say the recession is good for people because fewer people drive to work which means fewer deaths in auto accidents. Fewer people can afford to eat, so we don’t gain enough weight. You know what that means? President Obama’s economic plan is also his healthcare plan. It’s genius!” – Jay Leno
Tags: friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political humor, political jokes, The Onion
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, August 27th, 2010
As many of the late-night comedy shows take the week off, showing reruns, we release a rerun of our own. Our top 5 favorite Friday Funnies:
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“Does the Euro recover, or does it keep on nose-diving? Because what I’d like to be able do is go to Europe this summer and, with a roll of dimes, just buy something from the Louvre.” — Stephen Colbert
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“Those 400,000 temporary census worker jobs? Who says they have to be temporary? The Constitution says we have to take a census every 10 years, it doesn’t say that it can’t last 10 years. Just tell them to count slower.” — Jon Stewart
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“Top Chef DC premieres tonight on Bravo. But since it’s in DC, the contestants don’t actually cook, they just talk about what they’re going to cook in the future.” — Jimmy Fallon
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“The U.S. Postal Service reported a $3.5 billion loss in the last quarter, which established it as the federal government’s most successful enterprise.” — Jay Leno
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The Onion: U.S. Government To Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program
Tags: friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political jokes, Stephen Colbert, The Onion
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 20th, 2010
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“The economy is so bad, the Obamas are thinking about taking their next vacation in the United States.” – Jay Leno
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The Onion’s American Voices: China Now Second Biggest Economy
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CARTOON: Fannie & Freddie
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“In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, ‘If you want to go forward you put your car in ‘D.’ If you want to go backward, you put your car in ‘R.” But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F’d.” – Jay Leno
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CARTOON: Snagged recovery
Tags: bankrupting america, friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political jokes
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 13th, 2010
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“This week in 1861, the first federal income tax was instituted to pay for the Civil War. These days, we don’t worry about that kind of stuff. Our wars are paid for by our grandchildren.” — Jay Leno
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CARTOON: Recovery quits
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“In Portland, Oregon, a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand was shut down by the police because she didn’t get a $120 business license. On the bright side, by closing her business, she’s now eligible for a $108,000 government bailout. ” — Jay Leno
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The Onion’s American Voices: Joblessness Not A Factor In Stimulus Money
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“The U.S. Postal Service reported a $3.5 billion loss in the last quarter, which established it as the federal government’s most successful enterprise.” — Jay Leno
Tags: friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political jokes, The Onion, US postal service
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 6th, 2010
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CARTOON: Bell, CA City Manager
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“Happy birthday to President Obama…They got him a huge cake. He didn’t blow out the candles, he just taxed them until they gave up and went out on their own.” — Jay Leno
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“Happy birthday to President Obama. Republicans tried to block his birthday but they didn’t have enough votes, so it went through and the President was able to turn 49 today right on schedule.” — Jimmy Kimmel
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CARTOON: Government gone fishin‘
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CARTOON: Idiot’s Guide to the Recession
Tags: friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, political cartoons, political jokes
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, July 30th, 2010
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“A new poll shows that Congress’ approval rating is at a record low of 11 percent. The other 89 percent are going to withhold judgment until Congress actually does something.” — Jay Leno
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CARTOON: Weight of Stimulus
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“Budget problems are so bad in Newark, New Jersey, that the mayor has ordered the government to stop buying toilet paper for public restrooms. They’re calling this the worst thing to happen to the state since ‘Jersey Shore.’” — Jay Leno
Tags: Congress, friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political jokes, stimulus
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
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CARTOON: Government Money Tree
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The Onion’s American Voices: Senate Approves Jobless Benefits Extension
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CARTOON: PAYGO Leaky Cap
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The Onion: Budget Cuts Force British Government To Shut Down Mysterious Seaside Village
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“According to a study by the Brookings institution, Washington D.C. has the highest concentration of smart people in the United States. Lets see; we have a mess in the Gulf, we have a dysfunctional Homeland Security, and we are $13 trillion in debt. Imagine how bad it would be if these people weren’t geniuses.” — Jay Leno
Tags: debt, friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, PAYGO, political cartoons, political jokes, The Onion
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, July 16th, 2010
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“Well, this week, China gave a vote of confidence in the U.S. dollar. Well, you know why? They own them all. Of course they’re confident.” — Jay Leno
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“What is the point of having a royal family unless they are hideously out of touch. The queen is supposed to waste public money. The whole purpose of having a royal family is that they dress up in extravagant clothes and then rub our noses in our own miserable poverty.” — John Oliver on the royal family’s cost-cutting.
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Cartoon: The US government sees the light
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“President Obama announced the appointment of a new White House Budget director. Which is pretty surprising. You know the White House has a budget director? What has he been doing?” — Jay Leno
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The Onion: Nation Demands Tax Dollars Only Be Wasted On Stuff That’s Awesome
Tags: daily show, friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political jokes, The Onion
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, July 2nd, 2010
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“It’s not the G-20 anymore. It’s now the G-19, because Ghana eliminated the United States.” — David Letterman
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“Especially with the financial crisis, it seemed like we brought in to the White House…people that had their hands in it — Bernanke, Geithner, those guys — that were in essence the same people. And I wonder how you guys could have thought you could have gotten a different result with those people — and are you happy with them still being there or would you like to fire them on TV?” — Jon Stewart talking with David Axelrod
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“President Obama is in a tough spot because he fired Gen. McChrystal and right away, the Republicans blamed him for increasing unemployment.” — David Letterman
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Cartoon: G-20 deficit pledge
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“President Obama met with the Russian president at the White House and afterwards, took him out for a burger…the Russian president wanted to pick up the check, but Obama said, ‘Don’t worry about it, just charge it to our grandchildren.’” — Jay Leno
Tags: daily show, David Letterman, friday funnies, Jay Leno, Jon Stewart, political cartoons, political jokes
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
Friday, June 25th, 2010
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“Oh, and how stupid is this. You know, this state is so broke, they’re just trying to make money any way they can. California lawmakers — this is real — are now considering a bill to allow electronic license plate frames on vehicles that will flash digital commercials. Who is this for? People who want something else to read while driving and texting?” — Jay Leno
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CARTOON: Debt Reduction Explained
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“President Obama said today, although he admires McChrystal’s service and dedication to his country, he said, ‘You don’t criticize your bosses.’ Okay, that’s the same reason President Obama never says anything bad about the Chinese.” — Jay Leno
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John Oliver on the USA’s World Cup win: “Today, America officially became a third-world country. Rampant unemployment, your dollar is basically valueless, you owe billions to other countries…and what’s more? You dominated a game of “football”!
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The Onion: Nation To Try Its Luck Out West
Tags: bankrupting america, friday funnies, Government Spending, Jay Leno, political cartoons, political jokes, The Onion
Posted in Blog, Government Spending | No Comments »
